THE ADVENTURES OF THE CULT OF PIETT
- OTTON GALL -
Written and submitted by Alison Parker

At some point in Emperor Piett’s campaign…

This is the end, thought Otton Gall. His ship shuddered once more as it felt the blast of a torpedo. It was an embarrassing way to die: being knocked off by a solitary pirate ship, although it was at least honourable. The other ship had taken much more damage than he had, before a lucky shot had taken out Gall’s weapons.

Another light went red. It was the bridge shields this time. Already he had lost his weapons and most propulsion, including the hyperdrive. One more good blast, and the ordeal would be over.

The other ship was taking a while to finish him off. Otton Gall glanced through his viewscreen to see why. The answer was immediately apparent. Nearby, a squadron of X-Wings had come out of hyperspace and were coming closer in a very loose formation, obviously distracting the pirates. Rebels, thought Otton Gall, glancing at the two Death Stars that were depicted on the body of the leading fighter. Just like meesa luck. If da pirates don’t kill me, I’ll be klablammied by Rogue Squadron.

Otton Gall took a brief and luxurious moment to wallow in his misery before an idea came to him. He switched on his commlink, and began to send a message to the oncoming fighters.

The swirling tunnel of hyperspace solidified into starlines and then the deep blackness of space, as Wedge finished the first leg of his journey to the rendezvous point at Tattooine. Around him, the other members of Rogue Squadron arrived in tight formation. He was proud of his boys, who he had selected personally to join him in Rogue Squadron. They were the best fighters in the galaxy, superb pilots who were completely loyal to the rebellion. He and Rogue squadron had helped to destroy two Death Stars, and were now preparing to embark on a vital raid of the Imperial planet of Kraat. Certainly each one consisted of different people, since most members of his squadron had died on their various missions, but Rogue Squadron would do it easily, he knew. For they were the greatest…

Wedge broke out of his reverie and rubbed his head. It had suddenly begun to hurt, as if someone had slammed a book shut around it. He looked around. In the distance were a couple of ships. Both appeared to be damaged.

"Wedge," came Tycho’s voice over the comm. "The larger ship has the markings of the Howitzer pirate group. They’re supposed to be a pretty nasty bunch. Do you think we should go and help the other one?"

"No, Tycho," said Wedge. "We must arrive at the rendezvous point as soon as possible. If we stop to help this guy, we will lose vital minutes. Not to mention we could lose one of our fighters."

"I dunno," said Tycho. "They both look pretty beat up. I reckon one or two good torpedo hits could get rid of the pirate, easy."

"I said no, Rogue Two. Especially not with torpedos. You know how hard those things are to find!"

"Yes, leader. But don’t expect me to help you if you ever get caught by one of these guys."

Wedge began to fiddle with his torpedo button. This was a tedious period in the journey, having to travel in realspace around the mass shadow of the nearby planet. Pirates would often use the planet as a place to ambush vessels travelling by this route. It was very dangerous. Soon he would be able to enter back into the safety of hyperspace again. He just had to wait for a couple more minutes.

"Pleasa help." Wedge nearly jumped out of his seat, accidentally launching the torpedo as he did so. He watched in fascination as the torpedo curved graciously away towards the pirate ship. In the back of his mind, he could hear the message over the commlink. "Meesa called Otton Gall. Meesa in biiig doodoo with da bombad pirates. Pleasa help."

Wedge glanced at his controls and noticed that he was in the green for the next hyperspace jump. "Rogues, hyperspace, now!" He said as he saw an explosion in the distance.

As he made the jump, he could still hear Tycho’s taunt echoing in his ears, "Well done, Wedge. It looks like you’ve gone and saved us a gungan."

The pirate ship suddenly exploded and Otton Gall ducked reflexively as small fragments of ship came crashing on the viewscreen. Fortunately, they caused little damage. Otton Gall recovered just in time to see Rogue Squadron wink into hyperspace.

Hmm, interesting, he thought. Emperor Piett would be most interested in hearing of this strange occurrence. He went to check the life support system. As long as that was online, he could stay here for as long as necessary while he waited for help to arrive. Looking at the system, he swore loudly and profusely, losing his gungan accent for a moment in his frustration. The system was only just working, giving him enough fresh air for about 48 hours. It would take two and a half days for help to come from the nearest Cult base. He checked with the navicomputer to see where the nearest habitable planet was. He took note of the coordinates, and calculated that it was a four-hour journey from here. He informed the Cult of his situation, and set to work on the hyperdrive.

Following the (naturally inevitable) success of the Kratt mission, Wedge went to talk to Admiral Ackbar in order to redeem himself after his stuff up with the pirate ship.

"I believed it would be best if only one person shot at the pirate ship, since the pirate ship was pretty beat up, and having more than one person fire at it would have wasted torpedos. You know how hard they are to find, Admiral." Wedge explained.

"Yes, commander," said Ackbar. "But it still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell the other members of your squadron."

"It only occurred to me later, Sir." Said Wedge.

"I know you’re making all of this up, but I’ll let you get away with it anyway for being so inventive. In fact," the Admiral paused dramatically, "I’ll give you a promotion! How would you like to become General Antilles?"

"No thankyou, sir," said Wedge. "I want to fly with Rogue Squadron forever."

"Come on, Wedge," said Ackbar. "You would make such a good General. I can imagine you outwitting the enemy with your daring strategies, protecting our assets with your brilliant defence…"

"Being bored out of my mind because I’m not flying. No thanks, sir. I would rather lead Rogue Squadron."

"Very well, Wedge," said the Admiral. "But remember, the offer is always there for you. All you have to do is ask, and we will take you out of your cockpit immediately. Is there anything else you would like to discuss?"

"Yes, sir," said Wedge. "I would like to make sure that the ship that was being attacked by the pirate managed to escape safely. If it’s ok with you, I would like to pass back through that system on our way back to Coruscant."

"We’ll be cutting it fine, but I think we could manage that, Wedge. Just promise me that you’ll think more about my offer." Said the Admiral.

"Thankyou sir, I will." Wedge replied.

Otton Gall threw his hydrospanner into the mess of wires that was once the hyperdrive. It was useless to attempt to fix it now. The life support would give out hours before he reached the nearest planet. Now there was nothing left to do except wait to die. It would have been better to have been killed by da bombad pirates, he thought. And which stupid Rogue Squadron pilot had shot that torpedo anyway? Didn’t they know he was a member of the Cult of Piett, the second Emperor’s fanatical fighting force? He guessed not, or they wouldn’t have helped him. He curled up in a corner to go to sleep.

Otton Gall woke up to the smell of burning electronics. He opened his eyes, and looked to where smoke curled out of the open access to the hyperdrive. The hydrospanner made the hyperdrive catch fire, he thought calmly, not registering its significance. He turned over and was about to go back to sleep again, when he realised what would happen if the hyperdrive continued to burn.

He rushed to the cockpit and immediately sent a distress signal, just in case any ships were in the area.

"Pleasa help! Pleasa help! Da hyperdrive is on fire! Meesa going to die! Help! Help!"

As he had half-expected, he received no answer. He left the cockpit and tired to find something he could use to put out the fire. There was smoke everywhere. He heard a clanging sound somewhere, and supposed that it was his ship falling apart. As he fell and lost consciousness, he saw a familiar face look down on him behind an oxygen mask. Damn, he thought. Meesa must be going to hell.

Once the gungan had come out of the bacta tank, Wedge took it upon himself to visit him. Outside the medical ward, he ran into the doctor who had been treating the gungan.

"How is he?" he asked.

"It took us a while to convince him that he was alive," said the doctor. "He thought that you were dead too."

"Well, he was only just losing consciousness when I found him. Perhaps he thought that we were both dead then."

"That would make sense," said the doctor. "You should probably go and try to cheer him up. He looks pretty miserable."

"I’ll try," said Wedge.

The gungan was sitting on the edge of the bed, rocking back and forwards. He was talking to himself and didn’t notice Wedge as he walked in. Wedge sat down next to the gungan and leaned closer to hear what the gungan was saying.

"Meesa played da life-game with Wedge Antilles." The gungan repeated to himself. Wedge wondered what the gungan was talking about.

"Hi," said Wedge. "It’s good to see you’re well again Otto is it?"

"Meesa Otton Gall. Were yousa the one whosa shot at the pirate?" said Otton.

"Um, yeah," said Wedge, "That was me. It was actually a bit of an accident, but it was me."

The gungan suddenly became very upset. "Yousa mean to say that yousa saved me by accident? Meesa have a life-debt with Wedge Antilles because of an accident!"

"What’s a life-debt?" asked Wedge.

"Meesa life belong to yousa," said Otton. "Is gungan law, is tradition. Is very powerful. If meesa no serve you, meesa get exiled or even killed! Meesa have other vows, but stopping them only means exile, especially if meesa have life-debt."

"I don’t want you to serve me," said Wedge. "You can leave without any debt."

"But yousa no understand," said Otton. "The life-debt must be repaid, even to yousa!"

"I insist," said Wedge.

"Good," said Otton. "Meesa very glad. But yousa can’t say that meesa didn’t try!"

"You don’t like me very much, do you?" Said Wedge prophetically. "Why not?"

"Yousa Wedge Antilles. Yousa think yousa better than everyone else. The Cult no like that."

"What cult?" Asked Wedge.

"Meesa can’t say. Meesa said too much already." Said Otton.

"You have a life-debt to me, Otton," said Wedge, being incredibly unfair and deciding to take up Otton’s life-debt now that it seemed that Otton had something important to say. "Tell me what this cult is about."

"Yousa very happy not to have the life-debt before." Said Otton.

"I’ve changed my mind," said Wedge, the genius of subtlety.

"Yousa promise yousa let me go after meesa tell you?"

"Yes," said Wedge, lying.

"Yousa promise yousa give me a ship?"

"Yes," said Wedge, still lying.

"Meesa want to see the ship and be on it when meesa tell you."

Damn, thought Wedge. I bet he’ll turn out to be an Imperial. I have an instinct about these things, like the time everyone else thought that Tycho was brainwashed by Isard, but I knew better than everyone else and I trusted hi, with everything I knew because my instinct never fails. My instinct is telling me that this gungan is an Imperial, and I know I’m right; because I’m always right, just look at what I did with Wraith Squadron. Nobody thought I could pull that off, and just look at them now! Wraith Squadron is a haven for misfits and social outcasts! It’s given them a niche in the military! My instinct is the best…

"Yousa starting to think out loud," said Otton.

"Oh, thanks," said Wedge. "Sorry about that." My instinct is the best; it’s kept me alive all these years. I know I’m not strong in the force, but I reckon I must have some talent, because of my wonderful instinct, which tells me everything from who’s a traitor to what would be a good idea for a new elite squadron. Oh, yes, it’s a wonderful instinct, I used it to choose every member of my squadrons, and just look at…

"Yousa doing it again," said Otton. "Perhaps yousa should stop. Yousa boring me and the nice people reading this story."

"Sorry," said Wedge. "I get carried away sometimes."

"Meesa can tell," said Otton. "Yousa might want to get the ship for me soon, so meesa can tell you about the Cult."

"Why do you want me to get you the ship before you tell me?" asked Wedge the genius.

"Meesa don’t trust you. Meesa heard you thinking out loud before. Meesa know that yousa don’t trust me. Why should meesa trust you?"

Wedge struggled to find an answer to this for a while, and finally gave up, realising that there wasn’t really anything he could say about that.

"Fine, I’ll get the ship to you as soon as possible." Said Wedge. He stood up and left the room, heading to the Admiral’s quarters to give the Admiral this new information.

Three weeks later, after almost non-stop interrogation by the rebels (they called it "casual conversation", but somehow the topic always turned onto the Cult and stayed there, even though Otton said nothing), Otton Gall stood on the deck of his new Lambda shuttle. He had personally checked the ship for listening and homing devices, and had found an ample supply of them in the wall cavities, the electronics equipment and in all the other obvious places. He was fairly certain that he had removed them all.

Once he had removed the bugs, he called his master, Emperor Piett. He bowed as the figure materialised before him.

"Yousa Majesty," Otton said. "Meesa have the life-debt with Wedge Antilles. He has agreed to release me if meesa tell him of the Cult. But meesa know that yousa no want this to happen. What should meesa do?"

"Tell him about me," said the Emperor. "I am ready to come into the open. Tell him that his mortal enemy has arrived and that I am he. He should probably accept Ackbar’s offer of a promotion, if he hopes to survive."

"Yes, yousa Majesty." Said Otton Gall.

"And Otton."

"Yousa Majesty?"

"Remind Wedge Antilles that Rogue squadron was formed after the destruction of the first Death Star, will you?"

"Yes, yousa Majesty."

The Emperor’s form disappeared, and Otton Gall waited for Wedge Antilles to arrive.

"How many gungans are there in the Cult?" asked the Emperor once he finished talking to Otton. "There were none for a while, and then I suddenly had to start pulling them out of scrapes all the time."

"Not many, Majesty," replied his aide. "About fifty, I believe."

The Emperor’s eyes widened. "That few? They make enough trouble for fifty thousand! No more are to be allowed in. It is bad enough that they are non-human, but they are useless and time-consuming as well. I would destroy the entire species if I thought I could get away with it at the moment."

"Yes, your Majesty," said the aide. "Although I do believe that you are overreacting to the gungans’ crises. Some of the gungans have proven to be quite useful."

"Not enough," said the Emperor. "Once the Lord Darth Vader confided to me that he turned to the dark side not because of Emperor Palpatine, as is commonly believed, but because of prolonged contact with gungans from a young age."

"I sympathise dearly, your Majesty." Said the aide, not really caring, but knowing what the Emperor liked to be told.

"And try to remove the gungans who are already in the cult. Quietly, of course."

"Yes, your Majesty."

Wedge Antilles stood on the deck of Otton’s shuttle. He wanted to know who the gungan had spoken to, but somehow Otton had found all of his cleverly hidden devices!

"So, tell me about this Cult of yours, Otton," said Wedge.

"It is the Cult of Piett," said Otton. "He survived Endor, and became a bombad Emperor. Wesa are his loyal followers. Wesa have complete faith in him."

"Oh, no!" said Wedge. "I don’t know how to fight a quasi-religious figure! Whatever shall I do?"

"The Emperor said that yousa should take the Admiral’s offer and become a bombad General." Said Otton. "Hesa said that yousa his mortal enemy."

"What else did the Emperor say?" asked Wedge.

"He also said to tell yousa that the first Death Star was destroyed before yousa made Rogue Squadron."

"So I exaggerate a bit! Who cares?" said Wedge.

"Wesa care a lot," said Otton. "Can yousa please leave now so meesa can take off, pleasie please?"

"Oh, sure" said Wedge, unthinkingly walking out of the shuttle. The ramp began to close immediately after he had stepped off, and it was not long before the shuttle had departed and gone into hyperspace.

Wedge stared after it for a long time, pondering his idiocy. Someone came up behind him and put their hand on his shoulder.

"I thought you said you wouldn’t let him escape, Antilles," said Admiral Ackbar.

"Yes, well I thought it would be best to let him go, Admiral," said Wedge, playing on the anti-gungan prejudice felt my most sane sentients. "He doesn’t have any vital information and chances are, he will drive his master insane."

"Well done Wedge," said the Admiral. "Once again, I am very impressed with your ability to make things up to cover your mistakes. Are you sure you won’t take me up on that offer of a promotion?"

"Well, I’ve been thinking about that, actually," said Wedge, "and I’ve decided that I might actually allow myself to be promoted."

"Why the sudden change?" asked the Admiral.

"Well you see, sir," said Wedge. "Emperor Piett is my mortal enemy, apparently, and I believe I could fight him better from the bridge than from a cockpit."

"Emperor Piett?" said Ackbar. "You have to tell me more about this, General. Or is that all you know? I wouldn’t put it past you…"

And so Wedge became Admiral Piett’s mortal enemy and finally accepted Admiral Ackbar’s generous offer of a promotion.

THE END