TOP 10 NEW SCENES IN EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: SPECIAL EDITION
Written and submitted by Peter Ownes

10) "Luke, I am your *mother*" (with 'mother' digitally added in...with a different voice, just to make it screwy)
9) Piett is promoted to Emperor (sorry, I'm a Piett fan)
8) Chris Farley cast as overweight snowtrooper who jumps around a lot and is eventually laid low by a massive heart attack
7) When Luke leaves Dagobah, Yoda now yells "Skywalker, you bastard, get back here!"
6) An unnecessary Han, Leia and 3P0 threesome (I mean, come on, Han and Leia are enough...)
5) 20 additional bounty hunters are added, but all take offense to that "Bounty hunters, we don't need their scum" line and run away crying
4) The wampa eats Luke (take that, continuity!)
3) The Outrider is added in and blown up at Hoth (take that, Rendar!)
2) Lucas is added on Hoth riding a new snowmobile he bought with the $100 million he's made from SW:SE and the $2 billion Pepsi deal
1) Lobot's headgear revealed to be a psychic reader's hotline headset