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PULP
FICTION/ STAR WARS HAN: Well, please allow me to retort. What does Jabba the Hutt look like? PIETT: What? HAN: You speak Bocce? What does Jabba the Hutt look like? PIETT: What? HAN: What language *do* you speak?! PIETT: What? THREEPIO: Sir! I am fluent in six million forms of communication. "What" is no language I've ever heard of. PIETT: What? Han angrily jams his blaster in Admiral Piett's face. HAN: Say "what" again! Say "what" again! I dare you! I double dare you ************! Say "what" AGAIN!! PIETT: Oh no please no! HAN: Now, WHAT DOES JABBA THE HUTT LOOK LIKE! PIETT: He's...he's...fat! HAN: Go on! PIETT: He's got a...a tail! HAN: Does he look like a *****? PIETT: What?? Han shoots Admiral Piett in the arm. PIETT: AAAAHHH! HAN: Answer the question! Does Jabba the Hutt look like a *****?! PIETT: NO! HAN: Then why did you try to **** him like a *****? PIETT: I didn't! HAN: Yes you did! Yes you did! And Jabba the Hutt don't like being ****** by anyone except Mrs. Hutt. PIETT: I... HAN: You religious Piett? I got this passage memorized that kind of applies to this situation. Han starts reciting, walking around the room until the climax of the passage where he and Luke point their blasters at Admiral Piett. HAN: Yoda 35:12...For my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It's energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we not this crude matter. But beware of the dark side. Anger...fear...aggression. The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, FOREVER WILL IT DOMINATE YOUR DESTINY!!! PIETT: YEEAARRGGHH!!! Han and Luke blast away at the hapless Admiral Piett. All of the sudden a stormtrooper jumps out of the bathroom, with his gun blazing. TROOPER: YEAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The stormtrooper stops abruptly when he realizes that he's out of ammo and he hasn't hit a damn thing. Han and Luke look around the room at the gouges blasted into the walls, then at each other. They then angrily shoot the stormtrooper. Han turns and walks over to Threepio. HAN: Why didn't you tell us there was somebody hiding in the bathroom with a ******* hand turbolaser? Slip your mind? LUKE: Did you see the size of that gun Han? It's a miracle we're still alive. HAN: I call it luck. LUKE: It wasn't luck. I could feel the force.
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