|
HOCKEY
NIGHT IN... IMPERIAL CITY? TV Voice: Welcome to this broadcast of CBC (Coruscant Broadcasting Corporation) sports. Tonight we have a killer game-literally. Team Coruscant faces-off against Team Endor. Announcer: The starting roster for Team Endor: In net number 00 Wedge Antilles (boo-boo). On defence numbers 13 and 7, Han Solo and Chewbacca (boo-boo). And the starting line on left wing #14 Leia Organa, right wing #15 Lando Calrissian, and the team captain at centre #74 Luke Skywalker. Let’s here it for the visitors (boo-boo-boo-boo). And now ,the hometown heroes-Team Coruscant. Starting in goal #3 Veers, and on defence numbers 6 and 5, Ozzel and Palpatine. And the power forwards of #2 Darth Vader on left, #4 Boba Fett on right and the team captain at centre #1 Piett (Hurray). Thrawn: Piett takes the draw from Skywalker, Fett pushes up ice Ackbar: Oh yeah Fett just had his arms ripped off by Chewbacca. Thrawn: If only Fett had passed to Piett who was wide open. Well we must pause while the Zamboni cleans up the mess. Here is a word from our sponsors. TV Voice: Need a new ship...old one got you wanting more-then come on down to Kuat Drive Yards, all our 3045 stock must go to make way for our 3046 stock. You won’t find better prices anywhere-but if you do just tell us and we will destroy the competition. So come on, we’ll even throw in a free Laser package for every ship purchased! Thrawn: Well we’re back and this is Admiral Thrawn-the second greatest Admiral in the Galaxy. Ackbar: Yeah, right behind me! Thrwan: No, behind Piett! Ackbar: He has no talent! Thrawn: Oh yeah well look at that, behind you. Ackbar: What I don’t hey....mmmph....mmph Thrawn: Well Ackbar has become a little tied up, so I will be your only broadcaster. Thrawn: Well they just finished cleaning up Fett, and a snowtrooper has taken his place. What’s this, Han Solo feeds Leia, she winds up......Ouch, the Emperor just gave her quite a shock. Play resumes with Organa being scooped off the ice. Palpatine feeds Vader, he deeks-passes to Piett he shoots, Antilles ducks, HE SCORES!!!! How about that Ackbar Ackbar: mmmmph!!! Thrawn: Piett just put a hole in the back of the net with that one-timer! And Team Coruscant takes the lead with a score....wait a minute. Han Solo says that Ozzel was in the crease. The referee goes upstairs...NO GOAL, Ozzel was in the crease. There’s some commotion on the ice...Vader is choking Ozzel from across the rink! Looks like another snowtrooper is coming on. Ackbar: MMMMMPH!!!!! Thrawn: I agree, play is starting up again with Vader in the box. The call is two minutes for killing a team-mate (since no blood was drawn he only receives a minor). Skywalker has the puck, he is skating through centre and OH, Palpatine attempted a hip check and the old man just fell apart. The odds are definitely in favour of Team Endor now. Skywalker gets a quick shot off and Veers with the easy save. Veers quickly plays it to Vader who has just stepped out of the box after killing the ref for a bad call. Vader cuts Chewwy in half with his light sabre and passes to a snowtrooper. The snowtrooper shoots, Antilles ducks, off the post-but Piett grabs the rebound and fires it off Antilles head. Antilles is leaving the ice crying! Han Solo checks Piett from behind...And now we have a fist fight. Piett lands three big hits and the fight is over. Han is unconscious and Piett has the puck. Piett to Vader, Skywalker goes down to block the shot, Vader back to Piett-He shoots HE SCORES!!! Calri sian has finally came out of his the corner where he has been cowering all game and he is carrying a Thermal Detonator! Piett quickly shoots the puck.....He knocked the Thermal Detonator out of Lando’s hands and.....An AT-AT just crushed Calrissian! The Tides have turned and Team Coruscant is on it’s way to a win. (TIME ELAPSES) Ackbar: MMMMMMPH-MMMMMPH Thrawn: Yes I see there is only ten seconds left on the clock here in the third. Skywalker winds up for the final shot-He shoots and Piett goes down to block it! The puck careens off Piett and hits Skywalker right in the forehead-Skywalker is out, the clock ticks down and Team Coruscant wins. Let’s get down to ice for the stars of the game. Announcer: And now for the stars of the game. With 36 goals, 6 assists, and 3 kills the first star of the game Admiral Piett. With 1 goal, 35 assists, a shutout, and 1 kill the second star is General Veers. With 5 goals, 32 assists, and 1 kill the third star goes to Lord Vader. May we now pause for a moment in remembrance of Boba Fett, Emperor Palpatine, Admiral Ozzel, Wedge Antilles, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Leia Organa, Lando Calrissian, and Luke Skywalker....OK, that’s long enough! Luke Skywalker: I’m not quite dead! Piett: Stormtroopers! Luke: AAAGH...... Thrawn: Well their you have it then, Team Coruscant wins 42-0. This was the closest game I have seen Team Coruscantplay in. Anything to add Ackbar? Ackbar: MMMMMMMPHHHH...MMMMMMMPPPPHHHHH! Thrawn: Right then, we’ll see you next Saturday night when Team Coruscant plays a new team on the block, Team Canada! Stay tuned for our next broadcast, Coruscant’s Funniest Home Holograms. Bye for now!!!
|
