THE CONQUERING OF CORUSCANT
Written and submitted by Cameron Allen

(Bridge of SSD Executor II)

Lieutenant: Emperor Piett, sir, we have entered orbit of Coruscant.

Piett: Very good Lieutenant, open a hailing frequency.

Lieutenant: Yes, sir, frequency open.

(The veiwscreen shows the face of General Cracken)

Piett: This is Emperor Piett of the Galactic Empire, we have come to destroy you, do you wish to go quietly, or kicking and screaming?

Cracken: We will never comply with you Imperial Losers!

Piett: Hey, that hurts.

(The channel closes.)

Piett: Launch all fighter squadrons, and prepare a shuttle to take me to the Imperial Palace.

Lieutenant: Right away sir!

(The shuttle glides down to the surface of Coruscant and somehow manages not to get hit by of several million blaster bolts flying around.)

(Piett gets out of the shuttle followed by General Veers, Imperial Army Sergeant Bilko, Ensign Arnold Shwartzanagger, and Captain Johnas Grumby-the skipper from Gilligan's Island. The group bursts into the Senate Council room.)

Piett: Blast em'!

(Ensign Shwartzanagger pulls out a blaster about five times the size of him, and kills everyone except Admiral Ackbar, Wedge Antilles, and Mon Mothma.)

Mon Mothma: Violence is no way to solve anything, gentlemen. I'm sure that through many hours of boring talking, we can solve our differences and- AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!

(Arnold blows her away.)

Arnold: Hasta Lavist, baby.

Piett: Thank you! I ought to promote to Commander for that!

(Bilko and Veers hold Ackbar down, and the Skipper sticks an electrical implant on the back of his head. Ackbar gets up, and wanders around like Frankenstein.)

Ackbar: I must kill all rebels!

Wedge: Oh crap!

(Ackbar strangles Wedge, and flings him across the room. Piett walks over to the Emperor's throne and plops himself down in it.)

Piett: Whose the man? I think we know who the man is!

The End.